St Vlad's gets IM
by I.Love.Shane.Collins3
Summary: Rose is addicted to sex, Dimitri is willing to give himself up to her, Lissa is PMSing, Christian is seeing purple llamas and Adrian wants a life! Read to find out more!
1. LOL WTF ROFL LMAO

_I hope you like this! I was bored so I just chucked this together in a few minutes. (Spelling mistakes are supposed to be there)_

**Buddy List**

**SexyBadass-Rose**

**RussionGod-Dimitri**

**Vodka+Me-Adrian**

**SpiritPrincess-Lissa**

**HotasHell-Christian**

**Everyone has signed in:**

**SexyBadass-**Heyy guys

**SpiritPrincess-**Heyy rose

**RussianGod-**Hello Roza, what is with my name?

**HotasHell-**hey rose,

**SexyBadass-**It suits you, thats why it is ur screen name

**RussianGod-**Oh, thanks Roza

**SexyBadass-**I love u xox

**Vodka+Me-**i luv u too little dhampir

**SexyBadass-**NOT U IVASHKOV, i was talkin to Dimitri

**RussianGod-**I love you too Roza

**HotasHell-**purple... llama, on CRACK!

**SexyBadass-**are u on crack Christian

**SpiritPrincess-**No, we just haven't...done it... in a few days. Hes going through withdrawal i think...

**Everyone except HotasHell- **eww

**HotasHell-**LISSA I NEED U!

**SpiritPrincess-**umm, Christian.. we cant... not for a couple more days

**HotasHell-**why not? Tell me!

**SpiritPrincess-**Christian, cant we talk about this in private?

**SexyBadass- **ooohhh, tell us!

**Vodka+Me-**yeah tell me and rose!

**RussianGod-**Fuck off Ivashkov

**Vodka+Me-**fuck u

**RussianGod-**Fuck you!

**Vodka+Me-**fuck u

**RussianGod-**Fuck you!

**Vodka+Me-**fuck u

**RussianGod-**Fuck you!

**Vodka+Me-**fuck u

**RussianGod-**Fuck you!

**SexyBadass-** i'll fuck u comrade

**RussianGod- Ye**s, I will meet you in your room

**RussianGod has signed off to 'Fuck Roza'**

**SexyBadass-**ooohhh this is gonna be fun, i have a little surprise for comrade

**SpiritPrincess-**what is it?

**SexyBadass-**i will tell u if u tell me why u aren't having sex with Christian

**HotasHell-** please, im gonna die if i cant get inside u...

**Everyone except HotasHell and SpiritPrincess-**TMI (too much information)

**Vodka+Me- **I know why! Lissa is too busy PMSing to fuck Christian!

**SpiritPrincess-**fuck u Adrian RAWR

**Vodka+Me-**are u offering?

**SpiritPrincess-**RRAAWWRR

**SpiritPrincess has signed off 'to kill christian'**

**HotasHell-**oh shit

**SexyBadass- **Dimitri is here, my surprise for him is me being naked!

**SexyBadass has signed off 'to be fucked by dimitri'**

**Vodka+Me-**damn, why does my little dhampir like a 24 year old man?

**HotasHell-**coz at least he has a life LOL

**Vodka+Me- **and u do?

**HotasHell-**HEY! Oh shit, lissa's here

**HotasHell has signed off to 'hide from Lissa'**

**Vodka+Me-** why am I always left here by myself... maybe i should do something with my life...

**Vodka+Me has signed off to 'get a life'**

I hope you liked this chapter! It took me forever. Please review and give me some ideas for the next chapter! Love ya!


	2. TASHA IS HERE!

This chapter is longer than the last one, please review if you have any ideas!

**Buddy List**

**SexyBadass-Rose**

**RussianGod-Dimitri**

**SpiritPrincess-Lissa**

**HotasHell-Christian**

**Ihavealife-Adrian**

**GuardianHathaway-Janine Hathaway**

**TurkishMobster-Abe**

**ILoveDimka-Tasha**

**Everyone has signed in except GuardianHathaway and TurkishMobster**

**SexyBadass-**HEYYYY

**Everyone-**HIII

**RussianGod-** Why are you in such a good mood Roza?

**SpiritPrincess-**Yeah, tellsy (tell us)

**SexyBadass-** well, i hav been invited to a partayyy!

**Ihavealife-**whos partayyy

**SexyBadass-** i dunno, i just got a card sayin it was from a secret admirer

**Ihavealife-**hehehe

**RussianGod-**Roza, I could be better than that secret admirer whenever you want

**SexyBadass-**dimitri i need u...

**GuardianHathaway and TurkishMobster just signed in**

**GuardianHathaway-**Rose, why do you need Dimitri?

**SexyBadass-**umm...

**TurkishMobster-**is there sumthin goin on between u 2?

**HotasHell-**yup, they are having sex 24/7

**SexyBadass and RussianGod-**CHRISTIAN

**GuardianHathaway-**I am going to kill you Guardian Belikov!

**GuardianHathaway has signed off to 'KILL DIMITRI'**

**TurkishMobster-**im gonna break ur kneecaps u son of a...

**TurkishMobster has signed off to 'Break Dimitri's kneecaps'**

**SexyBadass-**hide right now comrade!

**RussianGod-**It's okay Roza, I can deal with the...

**Everyone looks away from their computer when they hear banging and crashing and screaming.**

**SexyBadass-**i will save u comrade!

**SexyBadass has signed off to 'save comrade'**

**ILoveDimka-**I neva realised i was onlin... WTF DIMKA IS NOT FUCKING THAT STUPID BLOOD WHORE!

**HotasHell-**sorry aunt tasha, but u gotta face the facts.. he thinks ur a stupid bitch with bad attitude

**ILoveDimka-**he thinks im the one with attitude!

**SpiritPrincess-**yup

**Ihavealife-**well, we all know rose has a bit of attitude but shes betta lookin then u and she has bigger boobs, a better smile, a pretty face, and some sexy legs...

**SpiritPrincess-**adrian, u really need to stop using ur imagination, u might, um, do something or say somthin stupid like right now

**Ihavealife-** oh shit, i didn't realise i rote all that! Well at least u will have better things to dream about...

**HotasHell and SpiritPrincess-**WTF ADRIAN

**HotasHell-**liss, can we plz do it rite now

**SpiritPrincess-** i don't see y not, meet me in my room asap

**HotasHell has signed off to 'HAVE SEX WITH LISSA...FINALLY'**

**SpiritPrincess has signed off to 'do it in her bedroom'**

**Ihavealife- **y am i always the last one on... oh well...

**Ihavealife has signed off to 'take some meth'**

**ILoveDimka-** .gawd. what the hell is with these kids! IM COMING TO SAVE U DIMKA

**ILoveDimka has signed off to 'kill rose and save her dimka'**

What's going to happen with Rose, Dimitri and Tasha? Will Rose stay with him or will Tasha take him away? Please review, I need ideas guys!


	3. OMFG ITS A GHOST

Keep reviewing, I need ideas y'know!

**Buddy List**

**SexyBadass- Rose**

**RussianGod- Dimitri**

**GhostGuy- Mason**

**SuperMan- Eddie**

**HotasHell- Christian**

**SpiritPrincess- Lissa**

**WaterGirl- Mia**

**GuardianHathaway- Janine**

**TurkishMobster- Abe**

**PrettyBoy- Jessie**

**Everyone has signed in except GhostGuy, GuardianHathaway, PrettyBoy and TurkishMobster**

**HotasHell- **heyy guys, wat happened to Dimitri

**RussianGod-** I have bruises and a black eye, but I took care of them with a little help from my Roza.

**SexyBadass-** i can help make u better comrade...

**RussianGod-** I can help you to help me get better Roza

**SexyBadass has signed off to 'Make Comrade Better' **

**RussianGod has signed off to 'Get Better'**

**SuperMan-** they really need some help, don't they

**HotasHell-** nope, they're getting laid every day, im happy for them... if only good things would happen for me

**SpiritPrincess-** CHRISTIAN if u wanted it more, you should tell me, not the whole world!

**WaterGirl-** eddie, don't ruin roses happiness, she hasn't had any in ages

**SuperMan-** how about i make u happy

**WaterGirl-** ur room, or my room

**SuperMan-** ur room

**WaterGirl has signed off to go to 'my room'**

**SuperMan has signed off to go to 'ur room'**

**SexyBadass and RussianGod have signed in**

**SexyBadass-** well, that was nice, i hope ur all better comrade

**RussianGod-** Never been better

**GhostGuy has signed in**

**GhostGuy-** ROSE! I've totally been missin u here on the other side!

**SexyBadass-** who the hell r u?

**GhostGuy-** its mason! Omg, since when have u and Dimitri been hangin out after trainin

**HotasHell- **u do know that the reason she dumped u is coz she in love wif Dimitri dude

**GhostGuy-** WTF! ROSE I CANT BELIEVE U WOULD DO THAT! EVEN AFTER I TOLD U WHERE THE STRIGOI WERE HIDING! DIMITRI WAS SUPPOSED TO BECOME STRIGOI

**SexyBadass-** u knew Dimitri would become strigoi?

**GhostGuy-** yup, thats the only reason i sent u to them

**SexyBadass-** WTF IM GONNA KILL U MASE

**GhostGuy-** hahaha, u cant coz im already dead!

**RussianGod-** I can't believe you would do that to my Roza! Now I'm going to do something that will piss you off! Roza, come to my room right now!

**SexyBadass has signed off to 'go to comrade's room'**

**RussianGod- **Roza just got here, and I'm gonna fuck her so hard she won't even remember your name!

**GhostGuy-** WTF? You will never do that to my Rose! I'm gonna come bak and haunt her if u do!

**RussianGod-** It doesn't matter, she learnt how to block the ghosts out idiot!

**GhostGuy-** GRRRRR

**RussiaGod-** I'm taking off her clothes... Now her bra and panties... She is so hot, I just want to fuck her now!

**GhostGuy-** Holy shit, hes actually gonna type at the same time!

**SpiritPrincess-** im not gonna read about my best friend havin sex

**SpiritPrincess has signed off to 'Ignore the fact that her best friend is fucking a 24 year old man'**

**HotasHell-** I don't really wanna read about it either... id rather have some of it

**HotasHell-** oh shit! I just typed that, DONT TELL LISSA

**HotasHell has signed off to 'Have sex with Lissa so she doesn't suspect anything'**

**RussianGod-** Roza is giving me a blow job

**GhostGuy-** this is actually turnin me on...

**GhostGuy-** fuck, i just typed that!

**GhostGuy has signed off to 'watch some porn'**

**RussianGod-** OH FUCK ROZA

**RussianGod has signed off to 'Fuck Roza harder'**

**PrettyBoy-** wow, that was almost better than porn, and i didn't even see anything ima gonna go watch through their window... kekeke

**PrettyBoy has signed off to 'Perve through the window..'**

**GuardianHathaway and TurkishMobster have signed in**

**GuardianHathaway-** Wow, have you read what they talked about?

**TurkishMobster-** Yeah, I feel kinda happy for them

**GuardianHathaway-** Me too

**TurkishMobster-** y'know wat turns me on?

**Guardian Hathaway-** No, what?

**TurkishMobster-** u do sexy

**GuardianHathaway-** Abe...

**TurkishMobster- **;) wanna fuck?

**GuardianHathaway-** Your room, i will be there in 5mins, make sure you have protection

**TurkishMobster-** of course

**GuardianHathaway has signed off to 'Go to Abe's room'**

**TurkishMobster has signed off to 'FUCK JANINE FINALLY!'**

I hope you liked the chappy, sorry it took so long to update, I've had heaps of stuff to take care of REVIEW!


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